I recently read an article about Ian McEwan and he made comments about finding out the gender of unborn children. I know that other people have made similar comments about not finding out the gender of their unborn children but it aggravates me, and apparently others too, who have found out the gender of their children. I knew when I got pregnant that I wanted to know the gender when the doctor ordered the ultrasound. I knew that there was the chance I wouldn’t be able to tell and that the most important purpose of the ultrasound was to make sure the baby was healthy. My husband was of the opinion that it didn’t matter either way if we knew the gender of our baby or not.
Ultrasound day with my first child went really smooth, the heartbeats and movements were recorded quickly and then I asked about the gender. The technician was more than willing to check the gender for us and without a doubt we were going to have a boy! I am so glad we found out the gender because I thought I wanted a girl. Let me explain why…..I wanted a girl because I grew up with a sister and after my dad died it was just my mom, sister and I. I just didn’t know anything about little boys and this was a little bit scary to me and I spent the next couple of months getting my mind around a little boy. I started looking and buying toys and clothes for a little boy, I became aware of little boys at the park and in restaurants, it was a “learning curve” of sorts for me to realize little boys were cute and fun and full of spirit.
When my son arrived I was able to appreciate that I had a boy and was ready, the time immediately after his birth was my time to focus on how to care for this real live human being that didn’t come with instructions!! Who cared what gender he was, I was tired, I was afraid I wasn’t doing anything right, my baby cried, he needed nearly constant attention, I didn’t have time to care what gender he was. By the time I figured out how to sleep and eat around him I was finally able to enjoy he was a little baby boy. I didn’t need to waste any time getting my mind set that I had a little boy because I was already ready.
The same was true with my second child only the ultrasound wasn’t 100% positive of the gender. They thought I was going to have a girl and, depending on the doctor I asked, they were leaning toward it being a girl. It was kind of funny that I wanted a girl the first time and got a boy and my second child I thought I wanted 2 of the same sex and I got a girl the second time. I quickly realized that God gives you exactly what he thinks you can handle in gender and in personalities. My son was an easy baby and I quickly figured out how to fully enjoy a little boy and my daughter was a little more difficult as a baby but I learned how to follow my “mommy instinct” to care for her and then I got to love all the pink clothes and dolls that she gravitated to. I didn’t lead my kids to blue or pink or to tools, trucks and dolls because it was their own choosing.
If you are like Ian McEwan and believe you shouldn’t find out the gender of your baby for whatever reason you have, than I believe that is the right decision for you, but I hope that you have an open mind and realize that there are other people who need that time before the baby is born to appreciate the time before baby arrives to know what gender they are going to have. I love both my children with all my heart and wouldn’t trade knowing or not knowing the gender. My kids are truly Gods gifts to me and I am thankful for his gifts.